Codependency can generate consequences that impede personal development in many areas. Some people are codependent and don’t know it. In this article, we will explain in detail what codependency is and how to overcome it.
That is why you need to know how to avoid codependency. In this article, we will help you with a series of recommendations. Among them, going to online therapy, to receive guidance from a professional specialized in this type of problem.
What is codependency?
Codependency is defined as a set of attitudes and emotions that lead a person to become involved in the problems of another person with whom they have been effectively linked, to the point of maintaining excessive concern for their well-being.
Codependency according to the American Psychological Association defines it as “the state of mutual dependence, for example, a relationship between two individuals who are emotionally dependent on each other.” It also explains that it means a “dysfunctional relationship in which an individual is psychologically dependent on (or controlled by) a person who has a pathological addiction (e.g., alcohol, gambling).”
The alarming thing is that those who suffer from it end up forgetting about their own needs. Codependency generates inconveniences, because the codependent person emotionally takes charge of the problems of others, and can neglect themselves personally, family, work, and socially.
Manifestations of codependency
How codependency can be identified through its manifestations or some of its most common symptoms, below we present them:
- Low levels of self-esteem are present
- Excessive need to feel loved or valued
- Sensitivity to criticism
- Fear of being abandoned
- You only feel safe when you are next to a person who needs your help.
- The tendency toward insecurity and self-blame
Examples of codependency
Some examples of behaviors related to codependency can be presented as follows:
- Relationship: one of the most common codependencies is being codependent on a courtship or romantic relationship where you sacrifice your goals, needs, or desires to be with the person you love.
- Family: Although you may not believe it, you are also codependent on the family to satisfy the needs of other family members, affecting your mental health.
- Friendships: A friendship can also be codependent if you don’t have proper boundaries.
- Social groups: codependency can also occur with social groups where the person submits to the group’s norms without prioritizing their well-being.
- Games or bets: codependency can occur not only in
- Addictions: sometimes codependency may occur on certain substances such as alcohol or drugs.
Steps to overcome codependency
Now that you know what codependency is and how to identify it, you must know how you can avoid it. Through a series of steps that will help you stop being codependent:
Recognize codependency
Recognition of the problem or the possibility of suffering from it is always the first step to avoiding major consequences.
You need to be honest with yourself, recognize if you are codependent, and know that you need to control it. Observe yourself, and if you identify the manifestations of codependency, decide to overcome it and avoid it.
Develop assertiveness
Assertiveness is the best ally against codependency because it allows you to say no and have emotional balance to enjoy well-being.
Through assertiveness, you generate the ability to decide first for yourself, thinking about your overall well-being, so you do not give space to a codependent relationship.
Work on your personal development
Growing every day in your areas of life, for example, perfecting your skills and expanding your professional knowledge, helps you avoid developing codependency.
Set goals and objectives, plan your days, dedicate time to your hobbies, and dedicate time to yourself.
Take care of your belief system
Keep in mind that it is important to constantly review your beliefs, to prevent limiting beliefs from taking root in your mentality and inclining you towards manifestations of codependency.
Think critically about yourself, but at the same time, be realistic about your possibilities, abilities, strengths, and opportunities.
Lean on professionals
Finally, we must recommend that, if you identify a very serious codependency problem, and you realize that you cannot avoid it, you go to professionals who can guide you and establish contextualized strategies in your case.