Throughout life, all couples can face challenges and obstacles that test their love and commitment to each other. Love relationships, no matter how long they have lasted, go through various stages and face ups and downs.
The beginning can be exciting and intense, while the calm afterward requires good management. However, sometimes problems arise that need to be addressed.
If both partners do not have the necessary tools to face these challenges, the problems can worsen and reach the point of ending the relationship. It is at this time when a crisis exists, and it is important to seek outside help before it is too late.
What is couples therapy and when is it necessary?
Couples therapy is a unique, specialized approach to helping couples overcome challenges, improve their communication, and strengthen their relationship. Throughout life, all couples face obstacles that test their love and commitment to each other.
Couples therapy offers a safe and confidential space where both partners can explore and address issues affecting their relationship.
This form of therapy is based on the fundamental premise that healthy relationships require an emotional investment from both parties. Through therapy, couples learn to identify and understand negative communication patterns, unresolved conflicts, and dysfunctional dynamics that may be affecting their intimate connection.
What is the role of the therapist?
The couple’s therapist acts as an impartial and objective facilitator, helping the couple develop effective communication skills, express their needs and desires clearly, and find mutually satisfactory solutions.
Additionally, it provides practical tools and strategies to resolve conflict, strengthen trust, and foster emotional and physical intimacy.
In conclusion, couples therapy is an unparalleled resource for couples who want to work on their relationship, resolve problems, and build a solid foundation for a shared future.
Through a collaborative approach guided by a specialized therapist, couples can revitalize their love, improve their communication, and build a more satisfying and healthy relationship.
Identifying when to seek couples counseling
Choosing the right time to start therapy, especially in the case of couples therapy, is of utmost importance since the success of this type of therapy is closely linked to the moment in which the couple decides to seek help.
In general, the ideal moment is when one of the two members of the couple begins to perceive changes and experiences a feeling of distance and emotional discomfort.
These are times when, for example, we prefer to delay our arrival home after work, and disconnection occurs both on an intimate and sexual level. Small conflicts are obvious, although we are aware that they are not that significant, but we cannot prevent them from affecting our relationship.
Couples usually go to therapy when the discomfort is very intense for one of the two members. This circumstance makes intervention difficult, and the ideal would be to prevent, take care of the relationship, and seek help before reaching the point where we feel that “this has no solution.”
Main benefits of couples counseling
Dedicating time and creating a therapeutic space to address the problems that arise in our relationship has numerous benefits for both members of the couple.
Effective problem-solving and conflict management
Therapy is effective both in addressing small problems and facing larger challenges.
It is not necessary to wait for the relationship to hit rock bottom or to think about breaking up. Through therapy, it is possible to resolve any type of problem and prevent it from recurring in the future.
Therapy provides techniques to learn to manage negative situations and present and future conflicts. Communication skills are acquired, and you learn to act objectively and manage feelings of resentment, anger, and rage.
Deepening intimacy and connection
Couples learn to understand the needs of their partner and the needs of the relationship. Mutual understanding is fostered and skills are acquired to strengthen the relationship.
In addition, it helps to become aware of aspects or reasons that they had not previously considered. It is essential to understand how each person’s past experiences can affect current relationships.
You also learn tools to listen to your partner, understand their feelings and words, and increase empathy, to find solutions to problems.
Improved communication in the relationship
Couples therapy improves communication by providing a safe space to express yourself, teaching active listening techniques, and addressing negative communication patterns.
It also teaches conflict resolution skills and promotes open and constructive dialogue. Therapy provides tools to communicate effectively, without offending or hurting others with words. You learn to express yourself constructively and respectfully.
In summary, couples psychotherapy helps build more effective and satisfactory communication in the couple.
Common relationship problems that couples therapy can solve
It is natural for couples to encounter obstacles in their path since each person has their way of thinking and behaving. This can lead to debates and the need to reach agreements to maintain a healthy relationship.
In other words, although all relationships have ups and downs, healthy relationships learn to manage conflict and recognize the importance of considering each other’s needs.
Now, what are the most common conflicts that arise in relationships? Below you will find the answer to this question.
Lack of trust in the relationship
Distrust in a relationship can be devastating, damaging intimacy and generating constant tension. To overcome it, it is necessary to establish open and honest communication, address concerns transparently, and commit to rebuilding trust.
This requires time, patience, and commitment from both parties. Couples therapy can be of great help, providing a safe space and professional guidance to work on rebuilding trust. With joint effort, it is possible to overcome mistrust and strengthen the relationship.
Difficulties with sexual relations
When there is a lack of harmony in intimate relationships, conflicts within the couple tend to increase, since this affects both the expression of affection and the stability of the relationship.
Shows of affection, silent eye contact, hugs, and, of course, sexual relations, are essential for the couple to feel united and loved.
Some sexual problems that can affect both the individual experiencing them and their partner in life are: premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, and lack of desire in men, and anorgasmia, lack of desire, vaginismus, and dyspareunia in women.
Communication problems
In a relationship, it is crucial to learn to manage conflict, and communication plays a fundamental role in this aspect. Dialogue is essential for the proper functioning of the relationship and is considered one of the fundamental pillars since it allows for maintaining the life project shared by two people who love each other.
If one of the members of the couple lacks empathy and cannot understand the other, or if they cannot express their opinions assertively, it is very difficult for the relationship to work, since conflicts will be constantly present.
Disagreements about housework or money
Each individual’s core values have a significant impact on their opinions and behavior in a relationship. When values do not align, serious conflicts are common.
Disagreements in relationships regarding household chores and money management are recurring themes that can generate tension and conflict.
Regarding domestic tasks, it is common for there to be discrepancies regarding the distribution of responsibilities and the way of carrying out household chores. Each member of the couple may have different expectations and value the importance of each task differently.
To overcome these disagreements, it is essential to establish open and sincere communication, where both express their points of view and needs. Negotiation and the search for equitable solutions can help find a balance in the distribution of tasks, taking into account the skills, availability, and preferences of each person.
Regarding money management, it is common for couples to face challenges related to the administration of financial resources.
Differences in spending styles, economic priorities, and investment decisions can generate conflicts. It is important to establish an open and transparent dialogue about financial expectations, short- and long-term goals, as well as the development of a joint financial plan.
Trust and mutual respect are essential to making financial decisions as a couple and reaching agreements that benefit both.
How does a couples therapy session work?
Couples therapy consists of several phases. All of them are relevant for the good development of the therapeutic process. We explain them below:
First sessions Problem identification
The first visit in couples therapy is an opportunity to make an initial evaluation of the situation and understand where the relationship is at. During this visit, both members of the couple will have the opportunity to express their concerns, questions, and doubts.
Subsequently, individual sessions are scheduled. These individual sessions offer an additional space to address personal issues that may be affecting the relationship and that have to do with the individual experiences of each member.
Evaluation of the couple’s current situation and problems
During the first sessions, a thorough evaluation is carried out to understand the severity and nature of the problem facing the couple.
The unique characteristics of the couple and their specific functioning are analyzed, taking into account their history, communication dynamics, and other relevant factors. The resources available to address the problem are also identified.
Based on this assessment, a personalized therapeutic approach is proposed that adapts to the particular needs of the couple. This may include specific strategies, techniques, and guidelines to address challenges and promote relationship growth and health.
Additionally, a commitment agreement is established between the therapists and the couple, where expectations, objectives, and mutual commitment to the therapeutic process are established. This agreement lays the foundations for joint and collaborative work in search of improving the relationship.
In summary, the assessment stage in couples therapy involves a detailed evaluation of the problem, consideration of the couple’s characteristics, formulation of a personalized therapeutic plan, and establishment of a commitment agreement to guide the therapeutic process.
Development of a treatment plan, process evaluation, and follow-up
When we have completed these sessions and made a good assessment of the situation, weekly couple visits are scheduled to work on the difficulties by helping the couple rebalance and heal. As the situation improves, the frequency of the sessions is increased.