Knowing how to control jealousy and distrust in your partner will give your relationship advantages. And we want to help you achieve control over those feelings and emotions that sabotage your happiness.
It is important to know that according to Ardila Galarza and her research “Jealousy in the relationship between young university students: a review of its treatment and explanations for its practice”, these cause attention and thinking to be channeled into certain directions and lead to experiencing specific emotions such as anger and fear.
In this way, they also provoke the motivation to act to eliminate the supposed threat to retain the relationship. This situation can generate major conflicts in the relationship until it leads to a definitive breakup.
Step 1 Self-knowledge and self-confidence
Being aware of your weaknesses and strengths, as well as your abilities and defects is very important for your personal growth and having a better relationship with yourself and others, including your partner.
If you accept that you have a jealousy problem, you will hardly be willing to overcome it. So the first thing is to know yourself more, and in that self-knowledge recognize that you suffer from jealousy and distrust.
In this step, you cannot excuse or justify your jealousy and distrust, because it is a way of continuing to ignore the problem and its consequences.
Now, along with self-knowledge, you must work on self-confidence, to trust others you must first trust yourself.
When you don’t trust your partner you could be saying that you don’t trust them because you think that you don’t have enough value, and that means that you don’t trust your personality, your strengths, and your potential.
Therefore, if you have been wondering how to control jealousy and distrust in your partner, start with this step.
Step 2 Cultivate more confidence in yourself
The fear of losing your partner, not knowing if you could survive a breakup, or the certainty that you would not survive is another reason why you are jealous and distrustful of your partner.
Therefore, the second step to know how to control jealousy and distrust in your partner is to cultivate confidence in yourself, and in your ability to continue with your life despite any difficulty.
While it is true that the idea of your partner being unfaithful to you, and leaving you for someone else, can be terrifying, work on visualizing how, despite that experience, you would still move forward and be successful with another relationship.
You will notice that, as your self-confidence increases, the voices of jealousy and those thoughts of distrust will disappear, and you will have a more fulfilling and edifying relationship with your partner.
Step 3 Completely avoid jealousy “games”
When you feel jealousy and mistrust, you may try to protect yourself by playing jealousy games, that is, trying to make your partner feel jealous and distrust you.
At first, you will think you feel that playing in such games puts you at an advantage, and makes you superior in the relationship. However, these games turn against you, and soon you will be involved in a situation in which you will be the one who will be suffering from jealousy and in a greater proportion than at the beginning.
So avoid making your partner believe that there are people interested in you, or that you have the possibility and even the interest of going out with those people “if she neglects herself or neglects you.”
The energy you put into devising these games should be used to strengthen the bond with your partner, enjoy good moments, and share quality time.
When you begin to take this third step, you notice that how to control jealousy and distrust in your partner becomes easier.
Step 4 Become aware of the vicious cycle that jealousy and distrust represent
Perhaps you have not noticed it, due to the emotions and feelings that jealousy provokes in you, but it generates a vicious circle and even leads you to suffer from situations that have not been generated, but that could well be caused by your jealousy and distrust.
If you are interested in knowing how to control jealousy and distrust in your partner, you need to stop for a moment and reflect on how this is nothing more than a vicious circle.
Think about it, when you feel jealous you are not reacting to your partner’s behavior, but to the behavior that you think your partner has, and with your reaction you are creating the conditions for it to occur.
Your reaction to something you imagine is driving your partner away, perhaps making them more indifferent towards you because they feel the need to distance themselves or simply avoid you so as not to be a victim of your jealousy and distrust.
When you become aware of this, you look for better strategies to approach your partner and express your feelings and emotions, and allow him to explain what is happening thus strengthening the bond of love, which in turn shows you that there is no reason to feel jealousy and distrust.
Step 5 Trust your partner and think positively
The last step that we want to present to you that responds to how to control jealousy and distrust in your partner is the result of the previous steps.
If you know yourself enough to recognize that you are suffering from jealousy and mistrust, and you work on having more trust in yourself and security, and you begin to generate conditions that strengthen the bond because you are willing to break the vicious circle, then you are ready to trust.
Trust in your partner also transforms your mentality regarding your relationship, and you can think positively about your relationship, seeing more opportunities for growth as a couple.
Now you know how to control jealousy and distrust in your partner, do you need help?
We know that these 5 steps seem simple and that you have every intention of putting them into practice, but we know that controlling jealousy and distrust in your relationship can be difficult.
As you progress, situations will arise that could cause you to relapse and regress. That is why the most important thing is to have professional help.
Explore our couples therapy psychologists to receive support in each of these steps and implement specific strategies that arise in the sessions.