One of the biggest challenges in relationships is to regain trust after a lie or betrayal. It is important to know how to deal with this situation effectively, so today we will share some steps to do so
- Recognize your mistakes: You must be honest so that the other person can trust you again. Seek to be transparent with your actions and not get defensive.
- Be patient: It is possible that the relationship changes in some aspects, or there are various conversations about what happened. Give your partner time to express themselves and go through their process.
- Validate their emotions: Recognize that your actions caused harm, and validate the emotions your partner may be feeling, whether anger, sadness, resentment, etc. Listen to what they are feeling and seek to show understanding.
- Take repair actions: Ask what you can do to make things better. Perhaps you can establish an agreement that will prevent something similar from happening in the future, or one that will help restore trust.
- Give yourselves time and prioritize the relationship: It is important to show that the relationship is a priority. Give your partner quality time, and show them that you are committed.
Tips to Strengthen Relationship Trust
There are some actions that both parties can do to increase trust in the relationship:
- Be open with your emotions and thoughts: Practice gradually being more open with each other. They can start with light topics and little by little talk about deeper situations. The idea is to practice being vulnerable with others.
- Communicate key issues in the relationship: Don’t assume that problems will be resolved over time, or that you are on the same page regarding a situation. This includes: talking about money, the past, issues with other people, opinions, etc.
- Observe what leads you to distrust: Reflect and observe if it is based on any behavior or personal insecurity. Become aware of issues in your past relationships that may be leading to mistrust.
- Assume good intentions on the part of your partner: It is important to practice trust in your partner and assume that their actions are based on good intentions. This way, if a situation arises, they will be able to listen to the person and be less defensive.
- Practice repair after a fight: It is important to know how to handle conflict gently and assertively. Thus, they can take a space alone to manage their emotions, reflect, and thus be able to have meaningful dialogues.
We know that regaining a partner’s trust is not easy. Thus, there are specific situations that can make it more complex, for example, infidelity. Next, we tell you how to regain your partner’s trust after infidelity.
Regain trust after infidelity
Some steps can help a couple regain trust after infidelity. First of all, the person to whom they were unfaithful can ask themselves the following questions:
- If I can forgive my partner, would I be able to stay committed to the relationship?
- Have I been able to let go of anger and resentment?
- Do I think I can forgive my partner?
These questions allow us to see if it will be possible for the person to move forward after the infidelity, and if there will not be resentment that prevents the relationship from developing positively. This does not mean forgetting the actions that damaged the relationship, but knowing that it is possible to move forward.
If the answer to the questions is positive, some steps must be taken to regain trust after infidelity:
- Take responsibility for your actions
The first thing the unfaithful person should do is express remorse, that is, take responsibility for their actions. Thus, he must be totally honest with what happened, to allow there to be transparency in the relationship. This will allow trust and intimacy to develop again.
In this phase, it is extremely important that the person who was unfaithful end the relationship they had with the other person and cut off all contact with them. Although it may be complicated, this will prevent the situation from happening again in the future.
- Make the relationship a priority
In this phase, the couple must truly commit to the relationship, and learn how to manage conflict effectively. Situations may arise in which this conflict arises, however, it is key to have the tools to resolve it gently and assertively.
It is also important to communicate to the people around you, especially the support network, that you are working to strengthen the relationship and the trust that exists in it. This reinforces the idea that the relationship is real and allows both parties to receive support.
- Reconnect
This last phase is about resuming personal and intimate conversations. In this, the issue of sexuality is essential. It is natural for this to bring up feelings of anger, resentment, or anguish. However, it is necessary to start talking about the topic gently, communicating preferences and desires.
How can therapy help you regain your partner’s trust?
Regaining trust in a relationship is not easy. It requires work, commitment, time, and dedication to healing wounds. In these situations, it can be extremely useful to have the professional help of a couples therapist.
Couples therapy is always a good idea to strengthen trust and communication in a relationship, which helps resolve problems that may arise. In the same way, an individual therapy space could also be extremely useful to process one’s own experiences and emotions that may exist around the relationship and trust in it.